It’s no secret to those who know Kathy McGowan or have a congregation that has benefited from her involvement; she is all about relationship. Prior to joining the UUA Southern Region Congregational Life Team in January 2013, and certainly since then, Kathy is among those spreading the word, instilling the practice and nurturing the spirit of Interdependence - the concept that we are better working together than we are when we work alone. That was clear on a mid-August morning as she shared her views of our Unitarian Universalist faith and her role helping lay leaders and congregations strengthen their impact. Somewhere during a 45 minute conversation with Kathy as she strolls through a North Carolina Farmer’s Market you might just begin to feel you’re at church. Kathy has a passion and a message that can’t help but inspire you to bring more love and justice to a world that sorely needs more of both.
“Unitarian Universalism has a unique way of changing the world. Each congregation, through their own Unitarian Universalist lens and their own unique mission, contributes to that”, expressed Kathy. Along with other Congregational Life staff, Kathy upholds the notion that a congregation is an individual’s place to try to set an example, to be a model for how living together well works. She adds, “This is where you live through the trials and honesty of how it really is, where you put values before the end product and then take that out into the world.” Then she reflects proudly on her collaboration with the UUA’s Faith Development Office and a large North Carolina congregation to help it determine where on the continuum of its journey it is and where to go next. Working with a large group to help them find their unique power is extremely rewarding and satisfying to Kathy. In her eyes, such success is all about the relationship connectedness that enables transformative collaboration to occur.
Such work is what teamwork on the Southern Region Congregational Life Team is all about. Kathy explains, “We’re always working harder to be a better example for the world, it’s the most important thing our Southern Region staff team does. We’re focusing on the core of our faith, which is relationship. Unitarian Universalism as a faith is innovative at doing this. Getting along with people with diverse views is what we all are doing and need to do more of.” Kathy’s mom was a choir director and both parents were involved in Community Theater, so collaboration was part of her life growing up. Whether it was the director looking out for the big picture, or the actor getting their part just right, or the costume designer focused on how everyone looked, it took the collaboration of all involved to create a successful performance. Bringing that to her adult life and adding in her penchant for humor translates to a natural gift of connecting and teamwork that Kathy brings to those she helps while she has fun doing so. “Getting people to water is harder than getting them to drink”, she says. “I want them to have that special feeling of being part of something so much bigger. Connectedness is essential so that.”
Since relationship is all about connectedness, Kathy discussed the role worship and celebration play in strengthening Unitarian Universalists relationships among the Unitarian Universalist faithful. “Worship should be where we lift up what is most important; aspirational and worthy of our gratitude. Finding moments that are worthy and then putting them together thoughtfully is important”, she says. She continues, “Stop at real moments, stop and acknowledge the holy moments, self-reflect on what we did. Let’s stop and breathe and hold each other’s hand to connect.” On the role of celebration, Kathy emphasized her thought that we as Unitarian Universalists need to learn to celebrate better than we do. “As predominantly middle class white people living in the United States, we are product, task and goal oriented. We forget that joy is a value, we forget to live adding joy to our life.” She believes that joyous events help people move forward, though she cautions, “Before we can celebrate, we need to do the hard work of achieving authentic trust. That is what we are doing and what needs to be built.” She clarifies, “You don’t want to have false celebrations emanating from obligation; you want the kind founded on true relationship and connectedness.”
Kathy was momentarily quiet when asked if she would share a defining moment or two from her life that has contributed to who she is or what she does to serve Unitarian Universalism. Eventually she shared, “There are spiritual dimensions to defining moments that are personal, that feel like they are yours. It happens to her when she goes into a large church with a large pipe organ and they are singing one of her songs; taking in “We’ll Build a Land” in such a setting is connectedness to Kathy. “You can’t exactly take it home, but you can’t leave it behind. It gives hope and confidence. It tells me we can become more relevant and important.”
